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You cannot escape your calling

God has been leading me through quite a lot of healing and restoration.  The things I have uncovered help me understand who I am and why I do the things I do.

I have been doing the Making Peace With Your Past program and uncovered why I am now unfulfilled by my current job.  It would appear that my family of origin caused a need for control in my life.  A pretty common theme for folks who had so called dysfunctional families growing up.  At any rate, the types of jobs that I have been in for the majority of my working life have involved being in total control.  I am a meeting/event planner.  I dot every “i” and cross every “t”.  Things happen or don’t happen according to my say so.  When  was in my twenties, I absolutely loved it.  It gave me such a charge to set up programs in resorts and fine hotels.  It gave me a rush that hoteliers valued my business and made sure that I had everything I needed or wanted for my events to go according to plan.  My plan.  The girl who lived a stone’s throw away from the infamous Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago.  The kid who qualified for the free lunch program at school.  The girl who was laughed at for wearing hand me down clothes from the previous decade.  Yes, her.  In my job I felt fulfilled in every way.  Finally feeling in control, and getting paid for it.  It was perfect.  And I loved every minute of it.

Despite all of that, there is one thing I know for sure.  You cannot escape your calling. It will hunt you down, surprise you on your way to somewhere else, and redirect you down the path you’re supposed to go.

After a while the fancy hotels stopped being interesting. My emotional pain and need for control was no longer satisfied by beautiful oceanside resorts.  The God shaped hole inside my soul wanted and needed more attention, more support, and more approval from an entity that could not and would not give it.  I grew bitter, withdrawn, and ungrateful. I stewed in my anger so long that it clouded my vision, stunted my growth, and otherwise derailed me for 7 years.  I was stuck in a holding pattern until I said yes. Yes to my calling.  Yes to my purpose.

I am a writer.  Of that I have no doubt.  I love telling stories, whether written, spoken, or sung.  My goal is to use my gift to give voice to the thoughts women struggle with, but are unable to express. By the help of the Holy Spirit, I aim to empower others to lean into Christ as they trust him to break generational curses and prepare themselves to receive God’s blessing as I have.  I am grateful for this journey.

Epiphanies and Basketball Goals

Epiphanies and Basketball Goals

The law of attraction can put some Christians up in arms, but the idea that you can knowingly or unknowingly put a positive or negative idea or intention out into the universe (asking God) and you will attract that thing to you is compelling.  In Luke 11 Christ says “ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened.”  Pretty powerful stuff. God’s laws and promises are true.  They work whether we believe in them or not, and whether we understand them or not. We are also created in the image of God.  This is true even if we don’t know God.  Since God has creative power with His words, so do we.  This extends even to those who are not followers of God.  Stick with me here.  I do have a point.

I bring all this up because of basketball.  Our home owner’s association is considering installing a basketball court.   A discussion about it in a neighborhood online forum really got out of hand. My husband and I are against having the court installed across the street from our house.  We think that it will generate excessive noise, loitering, and a greater amount of unwanted traffic from outside the neighborhood.  Some people are very much in favor of the court going in as an added community amenity.  The conversation quickly devolved into a racial conflict when people began calling my white husband a racist for not wanting the basketball court.  I find that ironic, as I am an African American.

This made me think about what we look for in our lives, and I had an epiphany.  There has been some fascinating research done about the reticular activation system in our brains,  Basically, when we fix our minds on something (set an intention) our minds go to work.  Th blinders come off so to speak and our brains begin to look for ways to make that intention happen.  All of this happens automatically, even if we are not aware of the process.

So, if a person believes that white people are racist, they will see what can be perceived as racism in anything white people do.

Human beings are so much more powerful than we ever dared realize.  Created in the image of All Mighty God, with all the privileges and responsibilities that entails.  This is why sonship and salvation are so important.  When we live our lives a prodigals, we waste our wealth and give away our power.  We become so lost and misguided that we end up eating left over pig slop from the hog trough.

prodigal