Your “Play Cousins and ‘Nem”: Mental Health, Heritage, and The Power of Connection
As we step into Black History Month, a time to celebrate our past, honor our ancestors, and reaffirm our collective strength, I find myself reflecting on the power of connection within our community. Knowing where we come from isn’t just about history—it’s about healing. When we understand our heritage, we gain a sense of belonging and identity that keeps us grounded, steadying our minds and spirits.
For us, family ain’t always about blood. We lean on a broader community—a tradition we call fictive kinship—where we create family beyond biological ties. That’s how we’ve survived, how we’ve thrived. Whether it’s the elders who pour wisdom into us, the play cousins who keep us laughing, or the modern-day internet aunties and uncles holding space for us, we know how to claim each other. In public, in cyber spaces, in life—we make sure we are never alone.
Black History Month and the Power of Knowing Your Heritage
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves this Black History Month is knowledge of self. Understanding our roots—whether through ancestry research, listening to Big Mama’s stories, or digging into community history—grounds us. It reminds us that we are part of something greater than ourselves. We come from a lineage of survivors, innovators, and freedom fighters. That’s something to hold onto.
Knowing who we are and where we come from is a balm for the soul. Studies back up what we’ve always known—when we have a strong cultural identity, we can better handle stress, anxiety, and depression. But in a time where folks are actively trying to erase our history, diminish our contributions, and gaslight us into thinking our struggles aren’t real, reclaiming our narratives is an act of resistance.
Community, Connection, and Fictive Kinship
Fictive kinship is in our DNA. When enslaved Africans were ripped from their families, they didn’t just endure—they adapted. They built new families, new connections, new ways of belonging. That resilience lives in us today. Whether or not we can trace our lineage, we know what it means to look out for one another, to hold each other up. Aunties who ain’t really aunties, cousins who aren’t related by blood but might as well be—that’s family. That’s love. That’s us.
Even in digital spaces, we keep this tradition alive. How many times have you seen someone call a beloved elder “Unc” or “Auntie” even if they’ve never met? How many times have we embraced a friend as a sibling, knowing that family is more than genetics? These bonds sustain us. They remind us that we belong, that we are part of something bigger, and that no matter how isolated we might feel, we got people who see us and care.
Fighting Against Erasure: The Political Landscape and Black Mental Health
As we celebrate Black History Month, we can’t ignore the attacks on our progress. Across the country, they’re trying to dismantle Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives, gut voting rights, and whitewash Black history right out of the textbooks. It’s bigger than politics—it’s personal. When our history is denied, when our struggles are minimized, it wears on our spirits. It chips away at our sense of belonging.
But we ain’t new to this. We’ve been here before, and we know how to fight. We have to stay informed, show up at the polls, and keep teaching ourselves and our communities the truth. Protecting our mental health means protecting our right to exist fully and truthfully. That means leaning into our safe spaces—our churches, our group chats, our online communities—where we uplift and affirm one another.
Agency and Taking Action
One of the most powerful things we have is agency—the ability to make choices that shape our lives. And in the spirit of fictive kinship, this means choosing to show up for each other. Whether it’s checking in on a friend who’s been quiet, supporting Black-owned businesses, or taking time to learn more about our collective history, every act matters. When we take care of each other, we strengthen our entire community.
This Black History Month, let’s remember: it’s okay to reach out if you’re feeling disconnected. It’s okay to build and rebuild connections. The family we create can be just as fulfilling and nurturing as any biological family. Our people have always known how to make family, how to build a village, and that’s something we can carry with us far beyond February.
Reclaiming Our Power Through Connection
Let’s take time to reclaim the power of our connections. Whether it’s a community gathering, a Twitter thread that sparks a deep conversation, or a simple text to check in on somebody, those small acts of love and care matter. We may not be able to fix all the systems that weigh us down overnight, but we can keep showing up for each other, holding each other, and making sure nobody walks alone.
By doing this, we honor the legacy of resilience our ancestors passed down to us. We are building stronger, healthier communities—not just for Black History Month, but for life. Because at the end of the day, whether by blood or by choice, we are family.
Let’s keep showing up for one another. Let’s keep building that village. And let’s keep reminding each other that we’re never alone.