There’s a growing wave among Black women—those who choose to live their lives child-free by choice. I call it the “Rich Auntie” energy, but let’s be clear: this isn’t about money. It’s about a wealth of spirit, joy, and purpose. It’s about walking boldly into your life, owning the fact that your contribution to the world isn’t limited to motherhood. Instead, you’re leaving an indelible mark in other ways—on your community, your family, and even yourself. As a therapist, I often remind women that embracing this energy is not only valid; it’s rooted deeply in our psychological development.
Now, let’s take a moment to dive into Erik Erikson’s model of human development, specifically the stage of generativity vs. stagnation. Erikson tells us that by mid-adulthood, we start to feel a need to create or nurture things that will outlast us. For many, this shows up in having and raising children. But here’s the beauty of it: generativity is not restricted to motherhood. It’s about contribution, about passing something of value on to future generations, whether they’re your biological descendants or not.
For those of us who are child-free by choice, that contribution might look like mentoring, creating art, leading community initiatives, or even being that wise and supportive “Auntie” figure in the lives of others. We give love, care, and wisdom in ways that ripple outwards. We pour into the people around us, knowing that we don’t have to give birth to someone to mother them, to nurture them, or to support their growth.
In many Black communities, the role of the auntie has always been significant. Aunties are often those women who step in to support, guide, and uplift—whether they’re a part of the family or not. In African and African American cultures, there’s a long tradition of “othermothering,” where women help raise and support children who aren’t biologically theirs. So this “Rich Auntie” energy? It’s just a continuation of that legacy, with a modern twist.
What I love about the “Rich Auntie” energy is that it embodies freedom. It’s the freedom to design your life on your own terms. It’s about finding fulfillment in your passions and being unapologetic about your choices. This is a reminder that your worth as a woman isn’t measured by whether or not you have children. In fact, as many of us know, being child-free can allow you to channel your energy and resources into the things that truly feed your soul.
So, for my child-free sisters, if you’ve ever been questioned or judged about your choice, remember this: your life is no less meaningful. Erikson’s idea of generativity is about impact, and your impact is vast. Whether you’re mentoring young people, building a legacy in your career, fostering relationships, or simply being a source of joy and wisdom for others, you are contributing to the world in profound ways.
And let’s be real for a second. How many of us have an auntie or a close family friend who was a beacon of light for us when we were growing up? Someone who lived on her own terms, and gave us a glimpse of what freedom looked like? That’s generativity. That’s leaving a legacy. You, in your “Rich Auntie” glory, are doing the same. You’re passing down experiences, wisdom, and love, and those things have the power to shape lives.
As you walk in this season of life, embrace it. Take pride in the freedom to travel, to create, to love how and who you want, and to live authentically. Know that your value extends far beyond societal expectations of what womanhood should look like. You’re shaping the next generation by being an example of possibility, strength, and autonomy.
So, cheers to the “Rich Aunties”—the women who are unafraid to walk their own path, who embrace their choice to be child-free, and who understand that generativity isn’t limited to raising children. You are living proof that our contribution to the world comes in many beautiful forms.